Dear Sofia,

Relating to Sofia Vergara at "Celebitchy" -

Dear Sofia,
I love your boobs. Personally, I think you're probably a much smaller band size than a 32, but that's irrelevant.  Thanks for not saying you're a 38DD or something equally as incorrect ( hear me, Christina Hendricks?!).  You seem pretty slim to me, so I will go ahead and guess you're around a 28-30 band, but that's not really for me to say.  What really pisses me off is the above article in which the author thinks you're obviously lying about your band size.  Well, I guess I better stop lying as well, as I am a 33 underbust measurement and I'm 5'11" and still working off my baby weight, but I should just go ahead and wear a 38 because ... well ... society tells me that 32 = slim a 34 -38 is average and 40 and above = plus size.  Why do we equate band size with weight anyway?  I used to wear 38 bands and I was 20 pounds lighter than I am now, and do you know what?  THEY WERE INSANELY UNCOMFORTABLE.  But as a society, women are supposed to be uncomfortable in their bras, right?  Some idiotic way to torture ourselves right?  Maybe we're all just listening to Playtex?  Or Victoria's Secret (honestly, I have no idea where they even got that one.  It's like they're trying to make it so confusing that we don't question how stupid their measuring system is).

Here's something fun to do: let's work out our actual bra size (without using the antiquated method of adding inches to your underbust measurement!  Shocking!)  For correct bra sizing information (dear Sofia and stupid Celebitchy author,  feel free to click these links if you come upon my lonely little blog):

A Sophisticated Pair Bra Calculator 
Butterfly Collection Bra Calculator

There you go.  Now, go forth and buy some bras.  Next post will be about places to buy some bras that aren't in stores with wacky sizing methods.  I will include some sales because I might be big boobed, but I'm also a cheap ass, and so are you, I know it.

Love and support,
Gigi.