Monday, August 20, 2012



I always imagine that if there was a room full of big boobed ladies and I walked in with an armful of new bras in their sizes and yelled, "ON SALE, BITCHES!" that they would trample me, but I would die a happy woman.  Why?  Because let's be honest, we're used to paying a LOT for bras.  I'm not sure if it costs more to make such large cups or if we are being punished for having such fabulous breasts, but I sure as Hell can't buy a $5.00 bra at Walmart.

However, this is actually a good thing.  I occasionally fall into the trap of reading fluff pieces on the Yahoo News front page and there's always the one about saving money tips.  The tips are always so fucking stupid that I usually walk away and eat a tub of icecream and order Manolo Blahniks just to spite the stupid articles.  I love "make your own coffee at home, and stop buying it at Starbucks!"  REALLY?!  THIS IS SHOCKING NEWS.  "Bring your lunch to work!"  NO LIE?  THAT'S ALL I NEED TO DO!?

Anyway, once I actually read a good tip and it was: don't buy certain items cheaply because they wear out quicker so you buy more, thus spending more over the long run.  It got me to thinking about how many pleather handbags I had bought recently for $20 just because "hey, that's sorta cute."  In about a month, the handle is fraying and I'm looking a hot mess carrying it around.

We can relate this to bras as well.  When I was pregnant, I refused to buy bras in my right size and was actually stuffing myself into 38DDs from Target and Walmart.  Yes, I know, I am going to Bra Hell.  I refused because I figured "I'm not pregnant for that long," in retrospect I want to punch myself because 9 months is a hell of a long time to be uncomfortable day in and day out, but whatever Past-Me - you suck, moving on.  I have a LOT OF 38DD bras that are frayed, ripped, with straps that simply snapped in half, cups that just gave up.  I imagine those bras saying help meeeeeeeeeee when I was wearing them.

But do not despair, I eventually stopped being an idiot and my breasts are no longer smooshed like googly eyes every which way and are happily supported in quality bras!  And these bras last a long time.  True, I hand wash them like a maniac but then, these bras are like my children and I would not throw my child in a washing machine, no matter how many times they got crumbs on their faces.  When I first delved in the land of Happy Supported Breasts, I admit I probably paid full price for a lot of bras.  Now, I am going to let you all in on something:  SALES.

Here we go:

Figleaves promo code, good until 8/26/12, 10% off your order: us10spring

(this was found by simply Googling "Figleaves Promo Code" SO I will leave the dirty work for other places to you for the time being!  Leave a comment if you're looking for something specific and I will keep an eye out!)

Lately, I have been wanting to try some Curvy Kate bras (I will admit I was boycotting them because they do not allow women with breast surgery into their modeling competitions, which I think is a load of BS, but I will write more in depth on that subject later).  I finally succumbed recently because it's hard finding lines that go up to H-J cup and I found a pretty sexy price for the Thrill Me:

Brastop has the Thrill me for $20.32! (Yes, I did the US conversion for you because I am nice like that!  Anyway, for $20, you really can't go wrong!  I would imagine a bra from the Showgirl range is a nice way to start out your CK collection because they're flashy and everyone wants one, including me!)

Barenecessities also has FREE SHIPPING on all orders right now.  ALSO a promotion code for 20% off is bnp20s1012.

I would find you more sales, but I am drinking red wine and have lost interest in everything but red wine.


Much love and sky high cleavage,

Monday, August 13, 2012

Victoria's Secret, Mr. G, and BOOBS.

Has anyone noticed that in Victoria's Secret catalogs, the models always look like they're about to have a lot of sex?  It wasn't until I started looking at different companies, that I noticed it (and find it bizarre).  For example, the Ewa Michalak  girls always seem pretty jazzed to just be wearing some supportive underthings:

(Sorry about the size, please click for a larger image!)

And then there's Victoria's Secret:

Also, girl, smile!  You're pretty!  You're wearing a terribly fitting bra that looks like it's trying to choke you out, but you're so beautiful ... why are you so depressed?  Is your man treating you right?  Want to go shopping together?  Want to buy shoes and chat about our lives?  Do you need a friend?  

Anyway, Mr. G has been calling me a "Bra Nazi" recently because of my constant talk about sizing, shape, styles, stores.  However, Mr. G knows he was telling me that a co worker showed him a photo of an ex girlfriend the other day and felt the need to let Mr. G know that this ex had "DD" boobs (which by the way is hilarious and very macho!  When men do this I call it the "penis contest"  Like, yes I once had sex with a woman with BOOBS.  OBVIOUSLY MY PENIS IS LARGER THAN YOURS!!) 

Mr. G let me know that not only was his first thought "what does DD mean without band size?" and next "she 
was slim, so probably a small band, and there was no way she was a DD if that was the case."

Congratulations, Mr. G., you are now in Bra Happyland, in which all the women run around well supported and full of joy.  Today, Mr. G. burned my coffee and toast so apparently he only listens when there is the word "boobs" in the conversation, but hey, give a guy credit.

Love, your uplifted friend,

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Dear Sofia,

Relating to Sofia Vergara at "Celebitchy" -

Dear Sofia,
I love your boobs. Personally, I think you're probably a much smaller band size than a 32, but that's irrelevant.  Thanks for not saying you're a 38DD or something equally as incorrect ( hear me, Christina Hendricks?!).  You seem pretty slim to me, so I will go ahead and guess you're around a 28-30 band, but that's not really for me to say.  What really pisses me off is the above article in which the author thinks you're obviously lying about your band size.  Well, I guess I better stop lying as well, as I am a 33 underbust measurement and I'm 5'11" and still working off my baby weight, but I should just go ahead and wear a 38 because ... well ... society tells me that 32 = slim a 34 -38 is average and 40 and above = plus size.  Why do we equate band size with weight anyway?  I used to wear 38 bands and I was 20 pounds lighter than I am now, and do you know what?  THEY WERE INSANELY UNCOMFORTABLE.  But as a society, women are supposed to be uncomfortable in their bras, right?  Some idiotic way to torture ourselves right?  Maybe we're all just listening to Playtex?  Or Victoria's Secret (honestly, I have no idea where they even got that one.  It's like they're trying to make it so confusing that we don't question how stupid their measuring system is).

Here's something fun to do: let's work out our actual bra size (without using the antiquated method of adding inches to your underbust measurement!  Shocking!)  For correct bra sizing information (dear Sofia and stupid Celebitchy author,  feel free to click these links if you come upon my lonely little blog):

A Sophisticated Pair Bra Calculator 
Butterfly Collection Bra Calculator

There you go.  Now, go forth and buy some bras.  Next post will be about places to buy some bras that aren't in stores with wacky sizing methods.  I will include some sales because I might be big boobed, but I'm also a cheap ass, and so are you, I know it.

Love and support,

Some words about how amazing I am. Oh, and my boobs.

Hello, all, I'm Gigi!  My goal with this blog will be to highlight bras and lingerie for the GG+ ladies out there as well as clothing.  I will also be doing size specific entries about all sizes, whether you are below and A cup, have a very small or large band, and D-K bras, etc.  Breasts come in all shapes and sizes, and though I am GG+, I will be sure to show the love to everyone's ladies!

Before 2009, I was a humble B cup (I think? Honestly, I knew nothing about bra sizing so I really have no idea!)  I had a congenital breast deformity and decided to undergo breast surgery.  I asked for D cups, but my surgeon went all renegade (he's an AWESOME surgeon so I say this with so much love for him and also for the fact that I do not think even plastic surgeons understand bra sizing) and I am now a 34H or 32J, depending on brand.  I can say that I LOVE MY BREASTS.  Hell, I love breasts in general, no matter what the size.  However, when I am out and about in town and see all the sad, low hanging, torpedo-shaped boobies around, I begin to feel sad again that women have so much trouble finding bras that fit them correctly.  So with this blog I hope to shed a little light on what a bra is and isn't supposed to do for your breasts.  I live in the United States and the UK seems to be a bit more "with it" about correct sizing, so a lot of my suggestions will be online ordering overseas (do not despair, however, the shipping is NOT terrible, and pretty comparable to what you pay for US shipping.)

I also want to talk a bit about dressing for your shape, whatever that may be.  I dislike comparing myself to a piece of fruit or a timepiece, so I will simply describe the body types.  I am 5'11", big hipped and boobed.  I'll admit to wearing a lot of wrap dresses because wrap dresses are the easy way out for my body type.  Whatever your shape may be, however, I think you're pretty hot, so I will just be talking a lot about your hotness and dressing to show off your best bits.

Mostly, body positivity, bras, and lots of ranting.  I rant because I love you.

Love and no more torpedo boobies,